Comments for SteamyPunk http://www.steamypunk.net Being the Fanciful Erotica of a SteamPunk World Fri, 20 Jan 2012 07:08:31 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Comment on Edward Lane’s Argosy Chapter One: The Blind Lady Of Tudley House by Roselinda http://www.steamypunk.net/edward-lane%e2%80%99s-argosy-chapter-one/#comment-743 Roselinda Fri, 20 Jan 2012 07:08:31 +0000 http://www.steamypunk.net/?p=36#comment-743 Your story left me....breathless. I adore this genre a great deal and appreciate the adept and cunning use of the creative finesse and the appropriate use of historical linguistics you used. The erotica was spot on as well and quite arousing. I hope you will appreciate these comments in the manner they are intended; I am a writer also and I noticed a few errors. I can't help myself, years of teaching goad me into passing them along to you. Personally, I appreciate it when someone helps with the proofreading and editing, and I hope you do as well. The ones I noticed were: For all I know, this house is scattered with god (gold) and jewels Always quick with a joke or a smoke,(loved this...a line from "The Piano Man! It took me a few minutes to figure out where I had heard it before. I wasn't sure you realized that though) “And that would be?” I (He)asked, curious. Wit (With)the augmented light he could see her face clearly for the first time. My only other comment would be about the exact nature of what the position was of your lovers when he final broached her feminine egress. I had a bit of trouble trying to picture if she was still lying in the chair when he mounted her, or had he lifted her lovely lower limbs and placed them over his shoulders? In any case, I enjoyed the story immensely and will continue on with the next chapter. Thank you for the vastly entertaining evening. Your story left me….breathless. I adore this genre a great deal and appreciate the adept and cunning use of the creative finesse and the appropriate use of historical linguistics you used. The erotica was spot on as well and quite arousing. I hope you will appreciate these comments in the manner they are intended; I am a writer also and I noticed a few errors. I can’t help myself, years of teaching goad me into passing them along to you. Personally, I appreciate it when someone helps with the proofreading and editing, and I hope you do as well. The ones I noticed were:

For all I know, this house is scattered with god (gold) and jewels

Always quick with a joke or a smoke,(loved this…a line from “The Piano Man! It took me a few minutes to figure out where I had heard it before. I wasn’t sure you realized that though)

“And that would be?” I (He)asked, curious.

Wit (With)the augmented light he could see her face clearly for the first time.

My only other comment would be about the exact nature of what the position was of your lovers when he final broached her feminine egress. I had a bit of trouble trying to picture if she was still lying in the chair when he mounted her, or had he lifted her lovely lower limbs and placed them over his shoulders? In any case, I enjoyed the story immensely and will continue on with the next chapter. Thank you for the vastly entertaining evening.

]]> Comment on When the Wind is in the Trees by William Frost http://www.steamypunk.net/when-the-wind-is-in-the-trees/#comment-742 William Frost Sun, 01 Jan 2012 22:43:40 +0000 http://www.steamypunk.net/?p=152#comment-742 I found this story quite enticing. I absolutely loved the imagery and how well you painted the scenes. Excellent work I found this story quite enticing. I absolutely loved the imagery and how well you painted the scenes. Excellent work

]]> Comment on Clockwork Heart by Lindy http://www.steamypunk.net/clockwork-heart/#comment-737 Lindy Fri, 23 Sep 2011 06:19:31 +0000 http://www.steamypunk.net/?p=143#comment-737 I liked the story. I thought the dialogue was written well. The only part that drew me out of the story was the line about her "most sacred orifice." I liked the story. I thought the dialogue was written well. The only part that drew me out of the story was the line about her “most sacred orifice.”

]]> Comment on When the Wind is in the Trees by admin http://www.steamypunk.net/when-the-wind-is-in-the-trees/#comment-733 admin Mon, 08 Aug 2011 22:01:11 +0000 http://www.steamypunk.net/?p=152#comment-733 Unless the paper is azure. You dislike the style of the piece, but that does not mean you speak with authority as to the merit of the piece itself. Steamypunk is not a writer's critique circle. It is a collection of erotica. Unless the paper is azure. You dislike the style of the piece, but that does not mean you speak with authority as to the merit of the piece itself.

Steamypunk is not a writer’s critique circle. It is a collection of erotica.

]]> Comment on Two Sides of the Forest by admin http://www.steamypunk.net/two-sides-of-the-forest/#comment-732 admin Mon, 08 Aug 2011 21:58:04 +0000 http://www.steamypunk.net/?p=181#comment-732 We're not interested in being steampunk police here at steamypunk. The author clearly identifies it as being within a universe they consider steampunk, and I see nothing in the story that betrays it as being not steampunk. This enough for us. Further, I would consider your other critiques to be purely suggestions of style. The use of short paragraphs is fairly modern, and many of us who are accustomed to reading period literature have no problems with them. We’re not interested in being steampunk police here at steamypunk. The author clearly identifies it as being within a universe they consider steampunk, and I see nothing in the story that betrays it as being not steampunk. This enough for us.

Further, I would consider your other critiques to be purely suggestions of style. The use of short paragraphs is fairly modern, and many of us who are accustomed to reading period literature have no problems with them.

]]> Comment on Edward Lane’s Argosy Chapter Seven: The Suddenly Appearing Thief by Caz http://www.steamypunk.net/chapter-seven-the-suddenly-appearing-thief/#comment-731 Caz Mon, 08 Aug 2011 20:51:21 +0000 http://www.steamypunk.net/?p=159#comment-731 This is by far the best, most well-written fic on the site: great story, great characters, great mastery of the period. Well done! This is by far the best, most well-written fic on the site: great story, great characters, great mastery of the period. Well done!

]]> Comment on When the Wind is in the Trees by Caz http://www.steamypunk.net/when-the-wind-is-in-the-trees/#comment-730 Caz Mon, 08 Aug 2011 20:49:20 +0000 http://www.steamypunk.net/?p=152#comment-730 Kind of on the florid side. Try not to over-describe so much -- the paper isn't "azure" it's blue. Otherwise, it's like trying to walk through a Bath & Body works shop: the wealth of information overwhelms the story. Kind of on the florid side. Try not to over-describe so much — the paper isn’t “azure” it’s blue. Otherwise, it’s like trying to walk through a Bath & Body works shop: the wealth of information overwhelms the story.

]]> Comment on Two Sides of the Forest by Caz http://www.steamypunk.net/two-sides-of-the-forest/#comment-729 Caz Mon, 08 Aug 2011 20:45:21 +0000 http://www.steamypunk.net/?p=181#comment-729 a) Quotation marks: learn them, live them, love them. b) paragraphs are way too long. Break them up or you'll lose readers. c) I don't see much at all in this fragment that suggests that this is any kind of steampunk story. Am I missing something? a) Quotation marks: learn them, live them, love them.

b) paragraphs are way too long. Break them up or you’ll lose readers.

c) I don’t see much at all in this fragment that suggests that this is any kind of steampunk story. Am I missing something?

]]> Comment on When the Wind is in the Trees by Wolf http://www.steamypunk.net/when-the-wind-is-in-the-trees/#comment-726 Wolf Sat, 21 May 2011 16:43:57 +0000 http://www.steamypunk.net/?p=152#comment-726 A fun story with lovely illustrations. Please continue with both crafts. I really rather enjoyed the final illustration. I wonder if there mightn't be a place where you've more drawings. DeviantArt or some-such? A fun story with lovely illustrations. Please continue with both crafts. I really rather enjoyed the final illustration. I wonder if there mightn’t be a place where you’ve more drawings. DeviantArt or some-such?

]]> Comment on Clockwork Heart by Lyra Ayres http://www.steamypunk.net/clockwork-heart/#comment-717 Lyra Ayres Wed, 15 Dec 2010 00:44:50 +0000 http://www.steamypunk.net/?p=143#comment-717 I consider myself an amateur so the questions and borderline criticism is quite welcome CAZ. Thank you. Like Admin said, the characters, scenery, language and imagery all pertain to a victorian era atmosphere, I believe anyway. I consider myself an amateur so the questions and borderline criticism is quite welcome CAZ. Thank you.

Like Admin said, the characters, scenery, language and imagery all pertain to a victorian era atmosphere, I believe anyway.

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